I've got a wedding to go to next Friday, and although I always look effortlessly stylish in my kilt - aye, right - I'm sort of set up for formal wear with it.
Black tie isn't a problem, because I've got all the bits, as it were, but I have a terrible tendency to start worrying how to tone it down when it's not a dinner suit do and you can't wear the full-on evening wear regalia. I mean, I wouldny be sitting in a bowtie at a wedding if I was wearing a suit, so the kilt doesn't make it any more acceptable.
Anyhoo, I sort of got my sartorial plan of campaign sorted out and to cut a long story short, I only had to (ahem) source a new kilt pin, and a tie that matched one of the colours in my kilt, and a suitable pair of cufflinks.
The first two objectives were achieved within twenty minutes of arrival in Glasgow today. Three hours later, I gave up on the cufflink mission entirely. I must have been in every shop in the toon that had any possible tangential connection with cufflink sales, and you know whit my research revealed? There's only about 10 different pairs of the fecking things in Scotland, and all the shops stock the same ones. I mean, in desperation, I even went into Frasers, and that's not a shop that males are physically capable of navigating through successfully, let alone making a purchase in. Indeed after about half an hour I established that even the staff don't know whereabouts a confused customer might find cufflinks. The best the girl at the perfume counter could come up with was "they used to be near the men's shoes, which is on the left behind the jewellery...walk down to the end of cosmetics, go through the corridor, past the suitcases, and turn right. Although they might have moved it back a bit. If they're not there, you'll need to ask."
Don't get me wrong, I'm no' complaining about her - that was the most helpful advice I got all day. I just think it's a wee bit bizarre that the iconic Glasgow department store can't come up with a reasonable selection of fairly basic stuff with which men could...well...carry through their affectations.
On the positive side, they've subcontracted out space on the ground floor of the shop, and the Glasgow branch of Yo Sushi seems to be doing well. Now there's a phrase I never thought I'd see.